Dances With Crayons Blog


One day while reading Blogs, I came upon a soul-touching poem by an aspiring writer, whose words move me. The words seem to convey the loving emotions of my Twin Souls print. Instantly thought of Rumi, Khalil Gibran as well as friends that I know, who are writing from the heart.

Sunny, thankyou for granting permission to share your poem!!
Link to Sunny’s Blog:

Return of my beloved!

I know not how you got into my life,

I know not how you got into my heart,

What I only know is that,

Without you, I can’t be.

Still, I pained to let you free,

To go, and be with the one you wanted to be.

But, my Lord had a different story to weave,

And you have, at last, returned to me.

– Sunny, posted May 26, 2010

A little note today…

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This entry was posted on February 14, 2013, in Uncategorized. Leave a comment

Love and Wonder

Does the soul decide and then choose what experiences it wants for the next lifetime or is each life, a matter of karma?

As a child, felt confused about death. A friend’s father passed away when we were about age 7 or 8. The adults went to her father’s funeral but the children didn’t. We did not feel
sad at first. We thought he would go to heaven then come back and tell us all about his adventure. We waited and waited.

A few years later, maybe at age 11 or 12, read an interesting and fascinating article about the reincarnation (I think in Life magazine). The experience of a young child. Even though adults frowned on reincarnation, I believed it was possible.

Last year, won a book in a draw, by Dr Brian Weiss. He was not trained to deal with, and was skeptical about reincarnation, yet grew to believe, through a patient. What an experience for him and his clients. Thankyou again Anayah and thankyou Dr Weiss. Recently in September, after reading a book called Aleph, felt a huge embrace for my soul. The weight of turmoil is lifted, I also embraced a personal experience. A few weeks after reading Aleph, read another story about a butterfly, written by Ken Crane. Thankyou Paulo, Hilal, and all on the Transiberian journey. Thankyou Ken. All of these stories help so much. Death is not ‘the’ end. John Lennon said ‘I think it’s just getting out of one car and into another.’

Even still I feel sad while adjusting to a loved one not being here in physical form.
Special things like expressions come back to encourage and provide comfort. Phrases and sentences, encouraging sorts of things. Sometimes songs or certain poems. And they sometimes appear through other people, right out of the blue. I’m thankful. It helps very much to know that loved ones are all right.

Is there an agreement among souls to meet again? It does seem to be so, because when meeting certain people, feel a strong, heartfelt, instant affinity. And sometimes dream about friends, looking forward to seeing them again!! A few weeks ago, read John O’Donohue’s book ‘Anam Cara’. About soul friends.

I do not know about my previous lifetimes, although some people have the gift of knowing. Wow! I don’t want to know, or least not just yet. In listening to John Denver sing ‘Wings That Fly Us Home’, is incredibly humbling. I feel equal (loved equally) as well as a compassionate tenderness for humanity.

Maybe every person has one or more very specific songs that bring them home, to the soul? How could I be critical of another’s taste in music in that light? It feels great to commune with the soul, and express it. How precious for every person.

Sometimes we admire our kitty, Rodney, at play. He’s fussy, fincky. He invented a toy! He’s wild, a feral kitty that we adopted from an organization. Unsure of us for a long time, peeking around the corner or watching from a high place. We did not make efforts to tame or force him to come around. He did slowly, at his own pace. Rodney loves music and taking care of his brother Skiddy, who is elderly now. He reminds me of little children. A little girl playing with her baby doll. To her, the doll is a real baby. Rodney sometimes offers food to his toys. I don’t think he intends to be ‘fussy’, it just seems that way. He knows what he wants. His nurturing abilities touch my heart. Do our pets go to a next life?

Is there a ‘self’?
In the 1990’s, heard an expression called ‘mid-life crisis’ and wondered what is it? Now, looking back, it seems very similar to what I was going through at age 17 (1973). As well had a feeling like I wanted to go home, a sort of homesick feeling. It didn’t last long but was very intense. I ached to be gentle, to be in an environment where I could be gentle. Like when running free in the prairie full of wonder. That seems to be the most pronounced.

Now at age 55, cannot find a more definitive ‘self’, but can find attributes. Part of the whole universal, infinite, Love. A small part of one loving soul. There are people that I feel like hugging, when just thinking of them. Going to Melk was a turning point. There was no judgement, no words, proving, or competition. Only love. A lot of joy, a lot of gratitude. Home! Heaven on earth. Like this gentle, sensitive soul was accepted, welcome, part of something wonderfully amazingly sacred and beautiful.

Maybe one needs to be a bit crazy to keep working at making their dreams come true? I felt strongly about it then but understand now, that I ‘had’ to go to Melk. Every day begins and ends with a prayer of thanks. For everything. Family, friends. That could not have happened without a dream and wanting the dream to come true. So I might be a little crazy. But dreams are not crazy.

I am a bundle of enthusiastic energy most often! Flying like a butterfly, or hummingbird. Still sometimes seeing incredible neon colors in my dreams. The exact shades don’t exist but maybe one day!

Rediscovering more about what feels good – allowing it to flourish. Admiring, feeling regard and respect for all of our journeys.

Learning how to love better; trying not to hurt others hearts. Living more confidently from the heart, like during childhood. It doesn’t feel like my soul has an age (in years), or a gender. In some ways feel younger than even 4 years ago. Am I slowly growing into the soul that was during childhood? That little girl is now living in the light also feeling lighter and more light-hearted. Enjoying every treasure and still finding more. This lifetime, physically I live in a woman’s body. A loving and proud mom!!

God loves me. Quirks, imperfections and all. Oftentimes children hope that their parents are proud of them. I hope that the kids are proud of me too.

There is a forgiveness prayer Paulo Coelho’s new book called Aleph. It’s beautiful. I love prayers!

Also forgive myself for not knowing then, what I remember now. The divine nature of all.

At 17, was not sure about anything. It’s probably the mid-life-crisis, only experienced at a younger age. I’m not an expert in anything. But something back then said ‘Hang in there, you’ll be glad one day that you did.’ So that’s where I started.

Thankyou dear Family and Friends for love and patience. I love you!!

Thankyou Angels!!

Jane xo
(x’s and o’s are kisses and hugs)

Grandfather Tells

An old Grandfather talked with his grandson, who came to him with anger at a friend who had done him an injustice…

“Let me tell you a story. I too, at times, have felt great hate for those who have taken so much, with no sorrow for what they do. But hate wears you down, and does not hurt your enemy. It’s like taking poison and wishing your enemy would die.”

“I have struggled with these feelings many times. It is as if there are two wolves inside me; one is good and does no harm. He lives in harmony with all around him and does not take offense when no offense was intended. He will only fight when it is right to do so, and in the right way.

But…the other wolf… ah! The littlest thing will send him into a fit of temper. He fights everyone, all of the time, for no reason. He cannot think because his anger and hate are so great. It is helpless anger, for his anger will change nothing.”

“Sometimes it is hard to live with these two wolves inside me, for both of them try to dominate my spirit.”

The boy looked intently into his Grandfather’s eyes and asked, “Which one wins, Grandfather?”

The Grandfather smiled and quietly said, “The one I feed.”

Love and Blessings,

Gone Fishin’

When the kids were little we were living in a small community in northern Saskatchewan.

Times were tough with a recession that would last for over 20 years. Today I remember all of the great things borne of it, some hard to see right then.

Knitting was coming in handy, making scarves, mittens and sweaters for the little ones. I had watched grandma years earlier and asked her to show me how. It took a lot of practise and patience – even to hold the knitting needles in the correct position!

Life in the isolated north could be harsh even without recession with extremely cold temperatures. We learned how to layer clothing better and not care how funny it might look. Our first winter we did not know there was a school bus although some days were so cold that even the bus wouldn’t start. Sometimes people drove to work on a skidoo. The elementary school was about half a mile or maybe a little more, away. The oldest child was school age and their dad needed the family car to go to work. So the kids and I had a little adventure together walking to school until Chris knew the way and met friends to walk with. My daughter was an infant then. By the time she was bundled up to go out she was heavy to trudge through the snow with. So I tied a thick cardboard box onto a toboggan, put her in the box, and along with Jordie, we walked Chris to school.

Soon our house was hub for children. So my kids had a lot of playmates. One time a friend’s husband had a fall from the roof of a building and needed to be transferred by air ambulance to a hospital over 300 miles away. Their children came to stay with us. Another family had a little plot of wild rice to harvest at the reservation and their children were in school, so they came to stay with us. As a surprise, my friend picked enough blueberries for my family – enough for an entire year!

I was also taking in small sewing jobs; word spread, and had lots to do. As well, worked two regular jobs outside of the home with the ambulance, the RCMP. And occasional work at NORTEP Teachers College (a neighbor was the principal) or with a friend doing janitorial services at the local elementary school. Not sure when I slept, but did not suffer.

In 1981, recession had begun. I really was not sure what this word meant since I was young. But remembered the stories of grandparents talking about ‘the dirty thirties’, a time of drought. Our boss at the ambulance service asked if he could install the business phone at my house. That worked out very well. Co-workers stopped by to visit every day. As well, during evenings and nights could also choose calls I wanted to go out on and dispatch others. A couple of times a friend was over visiting when calls came in and would offer to take over with the kids if I wanted to go out on the call.

Aside from the work life was fun! We went to the beach, fishing or berry picking during summer with the kids. Friend Lorna and I went for walks and played chess on every available day. We joined a curling team, an aerobics class, tried out badminton. Once we walked to the next town and back home again under a starry night sky. The northern lights were dancing! During another outing we walked to the downtown restaurant for a slice of home made blueberry pie. YUM!

There were office parties at each others homes. Pot luck suppers where each person brought food for dinner. Even the single guys cooked and brought something!

We sometimes drove to a reservation an hour away, to sponsor Alateen meetings when needed.

Most times we were too busy to notice hardships. Life still seems to work out beautifully.

With Love, anything is possible.

ThankYou Friends, Hugs Hugs,